I don’t like reality weight loss shows. They aren’t reality. Take me away from my friends, family, job and responsibilities and I can lose weight. Put me with a group solely focused on shedding pounds and I can lose weight. Give me a trainer, dietician, camera crew and a grand prize at the end and I can lose weight.

If I had a camera crew follow me around all day, you think I’d end up in the candy aisle of a local drug store right before closing time to buy a twelve pack of Hershey’s with almonds? Do you think I’d let the world see me sneak a handful of French fries from my unsuspecting 5-year-old nephew’s happy meal? Absolutely not. I have more pride than that. More pride plus the fact that $250,000 awaits me at the finish line. Of course, I could lose weight.

I don’t like the sometimes condescending demeaning trainers on those shows, either. Nothing about that motivates me. If my trainer talked to me like that, I’d get a workout, all right. Stomping her. Probably more cardio running to flee from her but you get my point.

I don’t watch these shows. Partly because it’s such an inaccurate depiction of maintainable weight loss and partly because I’m jealous the producers haven’t whisked me away to live my life in their bubble making me drop these last forty pounds that seem to be hanging on for dear life. Jealous I don’t get to put my life on hold to complete the task at hand. Jealous in the same way I am jealous of Duck Dynasty. Unlike the rest of the free world, I haven’t watched five full minutes of that show. I’m so jealous of it I can’t. My husband spends most waking moments of his life daydreaming about shooting mallards from the sky and we haven’t pocketed one red cent. I’ve got family members that would make the Robertson clan look like big city boys and no one’s filming me drinking sweet tea by the gallon.

I could lose weight if a camera crew stood watch in my kitchen waiting to catch my next move for the whole nation to see. But eventually, the cameras turn off. Then, who’s watching?

Matthew 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.